My Therapist

[jeweledvixen]

Things went well with my therapist today. She was surprised at the change in me in one week. She liked my hair and said I was so much brighter all around than last week, it was like a different person. We talked about the trash can saga, since she's the one who told me to order it from Staples. Then we talked about religion and she clued me in to a place right in the nearby "big city" that might have a lot to offer me. It's new-agey, so I'm a little leery until I know those places are legit. They have a web site, so I'm going to check them out. They offer yoga classes and I'd love to take a beginners class.

I'm a little concerned about the sudden turn-around in my mood, though. I've gone back on my med for what was possible bipolar with hypomania. That means I live in a depressive state most of the time and occasionally have periods of slightly elevated moods. In a "regular" bipolar person, the depressive and the manic states are polar opposites. They are either totally depressed or totally manic. I'm not. My manic states are like a good day for a normal person, so it's hard to diagnose bipolar with hypomania. I was the one who first suggested the diagnosis, but my doctor pooh-poohed the idea. Now, she's sure I was right. Sooooo, if I'm in a manic phase, will the med keep me up or will I crash again? I see that doctor on the 5th and I'm going to ask her. She doesn't know anything that has happened this past week, so we'll see.

Anyway, for now I'm going to try to relax and enjoy the up mood. I've gotten two stories written in two days for my Hurt/Comfort Bingo challenge. I might get all 25 stories done by next weekend. :D

Comments

[merzibelle]

That's an interesting diagnosis. I've never even heard of it. Me and therapists aren't good ideas - never have been for many reasons - but I'm glad you have one that seems to be working for you.

Definitely talk to the doc and see what she says. I'm told meds usually balance things out so you might stay in the 'good' phase while on them. I'm one of those rare people who can't be medicated for depression. I have to find ways to cope and stay undepressed which is often hard in winter for me. To quote an old TV show, you wouldn't like me when I'm medicated. :)

[jeweledvixen]

That sucks that meds don't work for you. I've been off my depression meds before and know how hard it is to cope.

How many meds have you tried? I've been on seven different ones before finding this combo that seems to be working for me.

What happens when you take meds for depression? I've never known anyone who has had a really bad reaction to them in general.

Do you use light therapy? Especially in the winter? It's supposed to be really good at helping with seasonal affective disorder.

[merzibelle]

It makes life interesting that's for certain. I manage though. I get a lot of my frustration out in my writing... likely why I have so many projects in various stages of completion. That or I have an undiagnosised case of ADHD.

When we stopped trying, I'd gone through about 5 or 6. Nothing seemed to work for me, even combined with therapy, so when you add in the complications, it was decided to just go back to me coping as best I could without them.

As for what happens - I get violent. The worse one was the second or third... I actually threatened my then 6 year old kidlet. Tried two more, just got worse, finally stopped trying.

Oh yeah... the lights in my office are the brightest in the house. But the weirdest thing, I'm at my most productive late at night... when it's dark! You'd think it would be the other way around but I'm more productive at night while I'm easily 'down' emotionally during the day. The DH says I'm trying to hibernate for the winter.

[jeweledvixen]

That really does suck that the side effects are so severe. It's sometimes surprising how differently certain meds effect different people.

When I mentioned light therapy, I was talking about those lamps that mimic sunlight. You are supposed to sit by one for a certain amount of time each day. They are special lamps. You can get floor models or table-top models. Have you tried those? Here are a couple of sites I found:

Verilux
Walgreens

Have you also tried meditation? I know it relaxes me when I remember to do it. I'm also going to try yoga classes, since I just found a place near me that offers "gentle" yoga classes.

LOL. I always tell people that at the beginning of the colder weather, I go into hibernation mode. I sleep a lot more, have less energy and don't want to leave the house unless absolutely necessary. Sometime around February, I start to "wake up" a bit and get more energy. I don't know if I'm a grizzly bear or a panda bear. ;)